allthelifethereis | (no subject)

In the aftermath, Bill finds it difficult to settle. The other Losers had warned him that weird shit happened all the time in Darrow, just like in Derry, and he'd believed them, but it was a complete different thing to see it for himself. He checks in on all of them and then he finds himself down at the boardwalk, wrapped in coat and scarf, glasses on so that he can read, a coffee at his elbow. He sits, staring at the sea, just trying to find a calm place inside himself.

Trying to settle.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

myfavoritedream

"Sure," I said, tucking the paper in my pocket and lifting a hand in a wave over my shoulder as I turned and walked away.

Getting a new phone was a pain in the ass, and it ended up closer to two hours by the time I made it to his building. I slipped in behind someone else leaving, and jogged upstairs to his door.

Leaning against the frame, and half second-guessing if I should've been there at all, I knocked.

From:

allthelifethereis

It's a moment or two before Bill gets to the door. He's barefoot in his apartment, shirt sleeves rolled up to his elbows. When he sees Neil, a warm smile lights up his face.

"You made it," he says. "Come in."

From:

myfavoritedream

"Hey," I said, feeling weirdly self-conscious as I slipped into his apartment. He smiled, bright and happy to see me, and I didn't really know what to do with it.

Swallowing the unfamiliar urge to apologize for being late, I shrugged out of my jacket and tossed it across a chair in the living room.

"Told you I would," I smirked, lifting one shoulder in a shrug, like it was nothing.

From:

allthelifethereis

"Half thought you'd change your mind," says Bill, shrugging and padding back in the direction of the kitchen, separated from the lounge by a counter.

"I'm glad you didn't. Want something to drink?"

From:

myfavoritedream

"I almost did," I admitted, grinning crookedly as I leaned back against the counter, watching him move about the kitchen in his bare feet.

"Yeah. Beer, if you got it."

From:

allthelifethereis

"I can do beer," says Bill, opening the fridge and grabbing a beer, holding it out to Neil. He's got one of his own open already, sweating on the counter. On the stove, there's a pan of pasta sauce gently simmering.

"Get your phone sorted?"

From:

myfavoritedream

"Yeah," I said, rubbing tiredly at my eyes. "It was a pain in the fucking ass."

I laughed breathlessly, one corner of my mouth twitching into a smile.

"Smells good."

From:

allthelifethereis

"I figured this would be fairly inoffensive," says Bill, smile quirking the corner of his mouth as he sips his beer. "Shouldn't take much longer. You can make yourself comfortable. Don't feel like you've got to stand there."

From:

myfavoritedream

"You trying to tell me to get the fuck outta your kitchen?" I said, hiding a teasing grin behind the mouth of my beer as I turned it up.

From:

allthelifethereis

"You're more then welcome to stay in my fuckin' kitchen," says Bill, turning back to the stove. "I just don't want you to feel like you've got to be on your best behaviour or anything."

From:

myfavoritedream

"Hovering over your shoulder while you cook's not exactly my best behavior," I pointed out, watching the shift of his back through the fabric of his shirt as he turned to stir the pasta sauce.

"My mom used to make the worst fucking spaghetti," I said, smiling faintly at the memory of the tentative pride on her face, whenever she served a real meal. "My expectations are low."

From:

allthelifethereis

"Well, I learned this from my mom," says Bill, resting the spoon across the top of the pot and opening the cupboard to grab noodles. "And it's one of the things that I can at least make consistently edible."

From:

myfavoritedream

“Yeah, we’ll see,” I teased him, setting my beer down on the counter, arms folded across my chest.

“Thanks. For, uh. For doing this,” I said, after a moment. “I love Marcus– the guy I’m crashing with, but it’s a full house. They got their own shit to deal with.”

From:

allthelifethereis

"Yeah, well, I've got plenty of space," says Bill, guiding the noodles into the pan, turning on the heat underneath them. "And all my friends are fourteen, or something, so..." He shrugs. "You're welcome."

From:

myfavoritedream

Choking out a laugh, I said, "That's still so fucked up." I winced, moving to lean against the counter by the stove, so I could see his face.

"How many of 'em are here? A guy I knew from home was here when I got here, but he's been gone for years. I haven't seen a single fucking person I knew from Hutchinson since."

From:

allthelifethereis

"Most of them," says Bill, leaning his hip against the counter and taking a swallow of his beer. "Eddie. Richie. Stan. Bev. Mike ever shows up and we'll have the whole gang."

From:

myfavoritedream

"Jesus," I said, brow arched. "And now you get to be, what? Group Dad? That fucking sucks."

I reached across the small, galley kitchen for my beer, taking another long swig.

"The friends you've got when you're fourteen aren't like any other friends," I said, thinking about Wendy and how much I loved her. More than anyone else I've ever known, probably. And there'd been something narcissistic and obsessive about it— I knew that now, but that didn't make it any less real or true.

From:

allthelifethereis

"Yeah, but at least it sucks more for me than it does for them," he says, distracted, for a moment, by the shift of the muscles in Neil's throat as he swallows. "That's something." He smiles at what Neil says next. "Yeah, I guess I...kind of forgot about that for a while."

From:

myfavoritedream

It was such a fucking sweet thing to say, that he was fine going through shit as long as those kids didn't have to. He was just fucking nice, and seemed so normal on the surface, but I could tell there was something else. Little hints of it. That story he wasn't ready to tell.

"My best friend from back home? We met when I was ten. She was eleven. And we were... I never thought I could love anyone like I loved her, you know? In a way, I don't think I have. But if she turned up right now, whatever age? I don't know if we'd still be friends. Too much shit has changed."

I'd still love her. Nothing could ever change that. But would she recognize me? Would I even want her to?

From:

allthelifethereis

"I was in grade school with Eddie and Richie and Stan," says Bill, turning back to the counter so that he can start chopping mushrooms. "We met Bev and Ben in high school. Mike a bit after that."

From:

myfavoritedream

"That's a big group. It was always just Wendy and me, really. Nobody else wanted to be around us. We liked it that way," I said, grinning at the memory of what fucking holy terrors we were.

Later on, there was Preston, but he was more of a hanger-on than anything. Which sounded like a shitty thing, considering how much he cared, but it was still the truth.

From:

allthelifethereis

"Yep. Losers every one of us," says Bill, with a warm smile. "It's good to be around them again. No matter what that looks like, I guess. We all drifted when we left Derry."

From:

myfavoritedream

"Losers? So, you're saying you didn't have it all figured out, as a kid?"

He'd hinted at... whatever it was that they'd all gone through together, and I knew that sort of shit bonded you to another person like nothing else.